♥ Am I that obvious? n' if it's written on my face ... ♥

xxuponastarxx @ 2004-12-24T17:10:00

2004-12-24T22:14:18Z

Merry Christmas Everyone :-)...Just wanted to stop in, say hey hey hey and wish everyone on LiveJournal and very Merry Christmas!!

I'm going over to my two grandma's house tonight, and maybe my dad's if I get the chance!! Then later on I'm going over to Joe's house with Melanie, and Kay Kay to finish wrapping up his roomate's christmas presents, haha *Mike your awesome!!* then maybe sledding :-) How exciting!!!!!!!!

I'll update later though!!!

Sayin' goodbye has to be the hardest thing ...♥

2004-10-17T20:55:00Z

Whoa,its been such a long time since I have wrote in here. So much has happened in the past month n' a half. I dont even know where to begin *sighs*.

As I'm sure everyone knows, I was with this guy named Adam. He was Wyandotte, and to me he was the most incredible guy. From the minute we seen eachother, I knew it was love. After two weeks of being together, he moved down to Indiana. During the time while he was down there, we talked for endless hours on the phone. We would do nothing but laugh, and talk about the future between me and him. For once I thought that I have found my soulmate. Well me and Melanie took a road trip down to Indiana to pick him up, and bring him back to Michigan so he could say his final goodbyes, and grab some more things. Well he had asked me to move down to Indiana with him. When he came back, things were still going to so well between us, we couldnt be more happier. But after a week of him being home, we started to fight more and more. But this past week has been soo crazy. Me, Melanie, Kay, Cox, and Gary were all hanging out with Adam, and I had said something to him, next thing I know, Im being gripped up by him. He fucked up my neck and back soo bad. I didnt really think anything of it to be honest, why I dont know why. So then the other night, I stayed with Melanie, because I had over did myself on Moltrin. I felt sooo sick, I threw up, I was so dizzy, weak, and very depressed. Me and Adam had gotten into a fight that night as well. So the next day, me and Melanie woke up, and went up to her moms work with her, and then went shopping. When we got back that night, we stopped by to see who was in the neighborhood, well come to find out, Adam was standing outside. As soon as we pulled up, he got into Brads car, so I stepped outside and was talking to Jessica for a few. I finally got the guts to come up to Adam and try and talk with him. Well that didnt work out to well. We ended up just fighting. He accused me of playing head games, trying to meet guys, and fuck around on him. Which isnt true at all. So I flipped out on him, and took off with Melanie. I ended up going out with Kay n' Chrisi that night doing awhole lot of nothing. Well I havent heard from in a couple of days, Ive been trying to stay away and have him clear his head. Well I called Cox this morning, his boy that hes pretty much living with. He told me that I should come by, and talk with Adam, which I told him it didnt sound like a good idea because I know Adam doesnt want to see me or talk to me. After I get off the phone with him, Kay listens to her voicemail, and it was from Melanie.

I guess last night, Cox and Adam called from a block id #, and Melanie told me that he asked to talk to Adam, and he told her that he didnt wanna see me ever again and it was over between us. So yeah ... Im guessing its done and over with now ... I dont know tho :-/ ... I love him soo much, but I dont think we are getting back together again. *sighs* We were suppose to move down to Indiana together, not happening, then we were just going to live with my dad for a few months, but thats not happening eitehr now I guess ....

But on other note, I got kicked outta my house. I have nothing! So Ive been staying with Kay at her moms house. Just trying to kill some time till my dad gets his house in Lincoln Park, then Im moving in with him.

Laylas doing sooo well. Shes sooo big now. Shes over 12 pounds, and sooo adorable. She's starting to realize she has this personality now. Shes smiling, and making coo'ing noises. Its really cute. I miss her tho, I never get to see her anymore. Even when I was still at home, she was always at the babysitters house, and when she was home, my mom wouldnt let me see her much. I cant wait till I get that house with my dad, because then she will be living with me again, and hopefully things will be better for me.

SO now, Im just trying to focus on my life. Trying not to be depressed. Im just thankful that I do have some good people still in my life ( My dad, Kay, Her mom, Melanie, My Aunt Iris, Chrisi, and a few other friends that I really dont talk to much anymore, but are still there for me. ) I'm just so thankful that I have these people still supporting me, because I would be out on the streets right now with nothing. Honestly, I prolly would have tried to kill myself. Just because I have been so depressed.

Whelp, I dunno ... I dont really wanna write anymore, its making me think of too many things again, and Im just trying to forget the past, and worry about the future. Leave some comments if you want .....

Bored outta my mind ...

2004-09-12T07:50:33Z

{1} Sex: Last time I checked, I was all woman! haha!
{2} My first breath of air: March, 18th 1986
{3} Best friends: Kay, Melanie, Heather, Jen, Nicole, Amanda

______________________ReWiNd_________________________
{4} Most memorable memory: Lmfao, alls Ima say is that me -N- my gurlz are nut'z!!! But off my head, OZZ FEST!!! :-)
{5} Worst?: Well its kinda in the future, but when I leave for Indiana :-(
{6} First best friend ever!?: Nicole S.
{7} Love is: ~The best thing in the whole world!!!~
{8} Is it possible to be in love w/ more than one person at the same time: Love as in what kinda way?!? But I'd say thats a big phat NO NO NO NO NO!
{9} True or False: all you need is love: You need love inorder to survive in this world, YES!
{10} Is there such thing as love @ first sight?: Yes, the minute I seen Adam, I knew he was the one for me!

______________________Opposite Sex____________________
{11} Turn ons: A guys body, esp Adam's .. OoOoOo dear lord! :-)
{12} Do your parent's opinion on your bf/gf matter to you?: Hell no, they dont agree with me -N- Adam .. But I dont give a fuck because its not what makes them happy, its what makes me happy that really matters!
{13} What kinda hair style?: for who guys? Doesnt really matter as long as they look good!
{14} The sweetest thing a member of the opposite sex can do for you? Anything really ... I love my man to just be there for me no matter what.
{15} Where do you go to meet new people? Out with my crazy ass gurlz! haha!
{16} Are you the type of person to HOLLa and ask for numbers? Fuck yeah, who cares?!?! NOT ME! hahah!
{17} Dog or Cat: Ummm, a lil puppy for sure!
{18} Short or Long hair: GUYS OR GIRLS!? guys- short girls - I'm not into gurlz so I cant answer that question!
{19} Sunshine or Rain: Sunshine :-) hehe
{20} What do u think of when you hear moon? Cuddling with Adam underneath the stars late at night *SiGhS*
{21} 1 best friend or 10 acquaintances: 6 Bestest friends that I couldnt live without -N- a million acquaintances!
{22} Summer or Winter: Summer
{23} Written letters or e-mails: IM's
{24} Play station or Nintendo: Nintendo for sure!
{25} Car or Motorcycle: Crotch rocket all the way, woo weee!
{26} House party or Club: CLUBBING IT UP, WORD!
{27} Sing or Dance: Dancing ;-)

______________________Lately________________-_________
{28} How are you today?: Amazing .. hehe
{29} What pants are you wearing right now?: Cute lil booty shorts!
{30} What shirt are you wearing right now?: HmMmM one with my ass hanging out! *WHAT?!?! Im the gurl who loves to show off, nothing wrong with that if you got what I got!!!*
{31} What does your hair look like at the moment?: Cute :-)
{32} What song are u listening to right now?: Country music! Yeeee
{33} How is the weather right now?: Chilly
{34} Last person you talked to on the phone?: Kay :-)
{35} Last dream you can remember?: Walking up to the man of my dreams when I see him for the first time *~ Adam ~*
{36} Who are you talking to right now?: Melanie -N- Nick

_____________________More About YOU!__________________
{37}If u were a crayon, what color would you be?: Pretty in Pink!
{38}Have you ever almost died?: Yeas ... Dont wanna think about it tho .... Too much drama in this world ...
{39}Have u ever won any special award?: Umm, not that I know of?!? lol ..
{40} What's the stupidest thing u have ever done?:LMFAO > not even going to go there! Too many!!!
{41} How many kids do you want to have?: 3 .. I have one, I just want 2 more :-)
{42} Son & OR DaughterS'name?: Layla Rose Atwood :-)
{43} Shampoo?: Herbal Essences * Yes Yes Yes Yes~! *
{44}What are you most scared of?: Death
{45} How many TV's do you have in your house?: 4
{46} Do you have your own TV?: Sitting in storage haha
{47} Have you ever broken/sprained/fractured a bone?: Yupp, my ankle in 9th grade, that sucked!!!
{48} Who do you dream about?: Do I have to tell you this again?!?! ADAM!!!!!!!!!! :-)
{49} Who do you tell your dreams to?: Anyone who will listen haha!
{50} Cheerleading a sport?: FUCK THAT SHIT, sorry Jen -N- Melanie, I love you guys, but fuck that sport haha!
{51} Many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?: HmMmMM spends on how many you want to do! I dunno, I'LL TRY IT~!! HAHAA!

______________________You And Love___________________
{52} Do you have a girlfriend or boyfriend?: Durrrrrr, Adam hehe!
{53} Where would you like to go on your honeymoon?: A very romantic, private place where we can rome freely -N- be as wild or as romantic as we can ever be
{54} What do you like most of the opposite sex?: Wow .. never thought of it ...
{55} What do guys compliment you on the most?: Never had any to be honest
{56}What was your longest relationship?: Almost 2 years ... Jason ..
{57} Who was your First love?: Brent Wedge hahaha!
{58}How far have you gone with a guy?: HOME RUN BABY! haha
{59}Do you regret it?: Nope or else my daughter wouldnt be here!
{60} Who was your 1st kiss?: I really dont remember to be honest, is that a bad thing?
{61} Who is your role model?: No one but myself

{62}Single or Taken?: Proudly taken!
{63}One pillow or Two?: One to share with my babe!
{64}Best first date?: Hmmm, I dont know really ...I'm a pretty open person!

FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!

2004-09-10T22:45:58Z

Would anyone want to bang you? by phobia
Name:
Favorite Food:
Wants to Bang you:
This many times:	45

Quiz created with MemeGen!

xxuponastarxx @ 2004-09-10T17:08:00

2004-09-10T21:01:34Z

Love by ruby mae
Your name
Your partner
You two are	One
Your meeting was by	Destiny
They are your	Protector
You are their	True love
Your love will	Last for all eternity

Quiz created with MemeGen!

*~ Omg ... Adam ... I cant even explain!! I cant wait to move down with you!!!! ~*

Awesome fuckin' song 8-)

2004-09-09T20:42:37Z

I was six years old
When my parents ran away
I was stuck inside a broken life
I couldn't wish away
She was beautiful
She had everything and more
And my escape was hiding out and running for the door

Somebody listen please
It used to be so hard being me
Living in the shadow
Of someone else's dream
Trying to find a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to me
Living in a nightmare
A never-ending sleep
But now that I am wide awake
My chains are finally free
Don't feel sorry for me

All the days collided
One less perfect than the next
I was stuck inside someone else's life and always second best
Oh, I love you now 'cause now I realize
That it's safe outside to come alive in my identity

So if you're listening
There's so much more to me you haven't seen
Living in the shadow
Of someone else's dream
Trying to find a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to me
Living in a nightmare
A never-ending sleep
But now that I am wide awake
Then I can finally be
Don't feel sorry-

Mother, sister, father, sister, mother
Everything's cool now
Mother, sister, father, sister, mother
Everything's cool now
Oh, my life is good
I've got more than anyone should
Oh, my life is good
And the past in the past

I was living in the shadow
Of someone else's dream
Trying to find a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to me
I'm living in a new day
I'm living it for me
And now that I am wide awake
Then I can finally be
Don't feel sorry for me
Don't feel sorry, don't feel sorry for me

Living in, living in, living in the shadow
Living in, living in, living in a new day

xxuponastarxx @ 2004-09-09T12:27:00

2004-09-09T16:20:16Z

You're the loving smile,the one that is entirely
devoted to others,especially that one
person.You really can't get them out of your
head,but then,you don't really want to.

What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

xxuponastarxx @ 2004-08-28T19:10:00

2004-08-28T23:03:27Z

Tinkerbell

Who 's Your Inner Sexy Cartoon Chick ?
brought to you by Quizilla

xxuponastarxx @ 2004-08-28T17:27:00

2004-08-28T21:21:26Z

01. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.

02. Am I loveable?

03. How long have you known me?

04. When and how did we first meet?

05. What was your first impression?

06. Do you still think that way about me now?

07. What do you think my weakness is?

08. Do you think I'll get married?

09. What makes me happy?

10. What makes me sad?

11. What reminds you of me?

12. If you could give me anything what would it be?

13. How well do you know me?

14. When's the last time you saw me?

15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?

16. Do you think I could kill someone?

17. Describe me in one word.

18. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?

19. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?

20. Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?

* No one will do this, but I thought I'd be cool and add it anyways! haha *

FREINDS ONLY BITCH'S

2004-08-25T20:25:40Z

: Wish I could show you :

2004-08-25T04:08:46Z

Whelp today has been a very long, boring day! I woke up, sat online for a couple of hours, took my brother to a couple of places, got Layla ready, took her to her doctors appointment, seen Kay a couple of times, sat around, talked on the phone, OoOoOo and did I mention, SAT AROUND?!?! Hahaha ...

Yeah, my life is very interesting.

Layla's visit went really well today :-). One month ago today, when she went into the doctors she only weighed 5 pounds, and now she weighs 7 pounds 9 ounces! She's getting so big, and Dr. Patel said he cant seem to find even the smallest thing that is wrong with her. Shes perfect :-) .. YaY!!!

I'm still sickier than a damn dog ... How shitty is that?!? Oh well, I'm taking medicine so hopefully it clears up soon.

Yeah, so here's my new journal, hopefully people are doing what I told them to do, and add me because after this entry its going to "friends" only, so make sure you leave a comment and I'll add you!

I'm tired, so I'm going to bed ... G*Nite
Thinkin' of you ....

MoViNg On In My LiFe .....

2004-08-25T02:28:37Z

Hey everyone! This is my new LJ username, and it'll only be for friend's :-) ... So if you want to be added then leave a comment and I'll add you, hehe!

Kay ~ You did a wonderful job gurlie!! Thanks soo much!!!